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 An Unwelcome Comrade

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Phlegm

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Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: An Unwelcome Comrade   Mon 22 Apr - 18:04:16

An Unwelcome Comrade

We looted the bodies of the fallen and gathered up a smattering of crystal fragments from the doomsday device. We found a fair quantity of gold and I located a skull amulet, the purpose of which eluded me. We also discovered that the horde leader who had so recently proposed our destruction, remained alive, if somewhat legless.

We had a discussion with Captain Grimm and in exchange for his legs* he shared some information. It seemed his mission was for the banshee queen who sought the device as a bargaining chip/ insurance policy** possibly for use against the Scarlet Crusade.

*He actually made use of a former comrade’s corpse which operated as a handy forsaken spare parts depot.
** Go compare your doomsday device at Mutually Assured Destruction .com


For some reason Grimm felt we should travel to the Undercity as this would be necessary to destroy the Forsaken lord who had despatched Grimm on the disastrous expedition. For some inexplicable reason my comrades felt this merited Grimm accompanying us back to Cadgar at Shatrab.

And so we found ourselves planning a raid on the Forsaken undercity for some reason. Grim handily had a map and a couple of deadly suggestions about how to use it involving sewers, crusades, ruined cities, necromancy and magical transport via Cadgar’s good offices.

He was able to use the skull amulet, a communications device to make contact with the city, where a scourge voice greeted him. This made us wary as the scourge are but a faction of the undead world and we doubted Grimm’s veracity. (Not before time if you ask me). I should probably mention that shards of the crystal we had recovered seemed to make wooden objects like my staff and Wanker’s bow grow, not very doomsdayish, unless perhaps you are undead.

These apparently life giving objects were demanded of us by Cadgar in payment for his services and he gave us tokens that would be useful in ingratiating ourselves with local factions.*

*I believe he referred to these as cygnets, though how young swans could help was a mystery to me.

Having somewhat annoyed Cadgar with our changes of plan and indecision, we retired to contemplate. Meanwhile, in other news, the child murders were continuing to ease classroom overcrowding in the Shatrab school system.*

*Virtually non existent though it actually is.

Changing the subject completely, Woodwanker remembered an urgent appointment.* Being loyal comrades in arms, bonded in a thousand battles, locked together in the brotherhood of arms that is stronger than tempered steel, we didn’t believe the slimy bugger for a moment.

*He said something about picking up some dry cleaning or something equally implausible

Puderillo followed him overhead as he headed for the market place, and then, it all went dark. I am told by my colleagues that I collapsed and was comatose for a full day, during which time further murders took place and my comrades searched for my raven. Puderillo was found in the carpet shop owned by the dwarf where we had obtained the carpet imprisoning Quid. It was Woodwanker who found him. He reported that the dwarf had claimed to have killed the bird himself at dawn, but Plainsweaver had sensed images from my comatose mind that showed fragmentary visions of Puderillo being shot by a shadowy figure at night.

Woodwanker recovered Puderillo’s corpse by the simple expedient of brutally murdering the shopkeeper in question and returning the remains, minus the arrow that had killed it. Plainsweaver in a superb act of interspecies medication actually restored the raven to health but it flew off before I recovered from the spirit shock its temporary death had caused me.

After being shopped for the murder by Quid the party’s corporate suspicion about Woodwanker and his harmless daemon sword, they took to monitoring him by non avian means, and it was whilst accompanied and trailed by several party members that he accidentally let slip his carefully spun mask of normality when Grimm in casual conversation happened to mention that he had become forsaken at age twelve and so technically had stopped growing at that age.

This took the form of a brief conversation along the following lines. Captain Grimm’s words are spoken by an actor:

Grimm: ‘So in fact you can look at it that I’m only twelve years old.’
Woodwanker: ‘Really?’
Grimm: ‘Ouch’
Dies horribly. Woodwanker exits pursued by other party members and a bear. Exeunt.

Woodwanker was an expert in cunning and concealment and easily eluded the pursuers.* It was some time after this as the remnants of the party considered their position that I awoke and shared with the others the revelation that Woodwanker had shot Puderillo and had indeed gone over to the dark side.

*Who were not experts in anything unfortunately.

A knock at the door and who should appear but a shadowy highly suspicious sith lord look-alike, plus one. A delightfully attractive young woman named…Chappaquidick. Yes, that Chappaquiddick. We awaited the beginning of the Eastenders theme, but nothing happened, so I began to reach for my wand.

Our guest introduced himself as none other than …Woodwanker. He threw back his hood confirming the revelation. Apparently he was somehow Wanker reborn, a fully matured death mage complete with daemon sword, totally under his control of course. And the nightly slaughtering of children would now stop. Wanker had helpfully restored Quid who was now pathetically grateful and apparently apprenticed to him.

All he wanted was to rejoin us and of course decide what we would do, how we would do it and eliminate dissention doubt and discord amongst us by making sure we only had to do exactly what he said. He emphasised his liberal new regime by magically silencing us whenever we demurred. We of course with very little debate agreed completely to his demands. He has promised to do no harm and not use magic against us and of the course there’s the whole new leaf murder free future promised, but I can’t help feeling a little concerned for our future well being and that of our souls.

20.04.13
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