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 Marienburg Monthly

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Number of posts : 761
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: Marienburg Monthly   Tue 13 Sep - 12:57:53

Marienburg Monthly
All That’s New and News In The City Of Canals
Issue 201 One Penny or free when Stolen

Red Or Black Cap?

The latest game craze to sweep the city was triggered by the effort by the city watch to infiltrate the Notorious Red Hand League. The league was forced into increasingly desperate security precautions to prevent Black Cap agents penetrating their ranks and modified their secret greeting ritual to include baring of the forearm where traditionally watch members have their badge number tattooed.

This has led to hordes of youngsters emulating the challenge in the streets and has led to the watch discontinuing its tattoo tradition.

Witch Immolation Draws Disappointing Crowd

Red faced officials were playing down reports of a mix up after recently convicted witch, former Abbess of Shallya was burnt to death in the middle of the night. Watch officials dismissed reports that the witch had been killed by a passing team of over zealous witch hunters, blaming a clerical error on the timing of a death warrant. Directorate spokeman Ryker Flippinheck added:

‘Of course this is a very regrettable mix up, but these things do happen and we can take satisfaction that at least this was not an unauthorised action against an innocent citizen conducted under the noses of an incompetent watch.’

We did approach sector watch commander Captain Dreyfus Smirinoff for comment, but he has been unexpectedly reassigned to the watch’s crack new sewer patrol unit, which we are told is an exclusive new assignment specially created as a reward for the Captain’s recent conduct.

Sigmarite Scion Skedaddled

The scion of minor Imperial deity Sigmar who has apparently been living amongst us for a number of years has recently departed for the Empire, taking with him many of the Imperial refugees and hangers on who have so choked the city in recent times after the Empire’s recent chaotic entanglements. A welcome development indeed.

The child, named Karl is apparently a god reincarnated, and you know the fanatics who so dominate the Imperial Court will jump at any chance to factionalise and war over such matters. There’s no feud like a religious feud and if it keeps the Empire busy with its favourite pastimes of politicking and plotting and leaves us more advanced trading civilisations alone to prosper, who are we to interfere?

Bloodbowl Training Camps Continue Pre Season Preparations

Pre season training is now underway at Death Row, Future Field The Putri Dome, Slaughter End, The Crucible of Tomorrow and The Wringer Stadium. Tickets are available for training sessions at one quarter of match fees for a full day. The Fatlox Franchise has also initiated an incentive scheme whereby fans attending training sessions will get selected benefits on Match days. Full details are expected in a pre season special edition of ‘The Other Side’, due out next week.

Exchange Up Date

Shares in the overdue Lustrian Treasure expedition continued to make rapid gains this week despite the lack of word from the trio of merchantmen who are now officially two weeks overdue their latest possible return date.

Market pundits speculate that insider dealing may be at work and exchange authorities have promised to investigate any suspicious trading patterns that become apparent depending on how events develop (and how much they can make on the deal/ extort from any wrong doers).

Beachcombers Beware!

Watch authorities have reminded scavengers that all items washed up on the shoreline are regarded as potential treasure trove and are the property of the state. A determination on the rightful owner of such flotsam and jetsam as may be recovered, will be made within thirty days of its declaration to the watch.

Failure to do so will result in severe punishment of offenders and confiscation of said items. Recovered items deigned not to be automatic property of the state may still be purchased by the state for a nominal fee agreed by a state appointed valuer.

Crime Round Up

• ‘Armour For You Defensive Couture Incorporated’ is offering a reward for the return of items of equipment stolen from its premises in Holen Strasse last night. It is also offering substantially more for information leading to the arrest, fair trial and execution of those responsible.

• The watch have appealed for information about an attempted break in at the Trade Tavern in Kobbler Platz where a visiting tourist after a successful evening at the card tables nearly fell victim to foul play.

• The Hunt for the Deranged Old Witch Hunter who tried to interfere with a ceremony at the Temple of Sigmar recently continues. Osric Falconheim is described by the watch as ‘A cantankerous smelly old git, probably still bleeding from the battering he took.’ Anyone who sees him is asked to approach him, preferably not alone and heavily armed, and just kill the annoying old goat.

• The Watch has reminded visitors to leave their horses and carts properly secured if leaving them unattended overnight. These simple measures can save a lot of wasted watch time filling in paperwork on thefts which frankly will never be solved. In future watch patrols encountering such unattended livestock and or vehicles will be clamping them and requiring at least ten schilling release fees.

• Gamblers anonymous welcomes new members in the Suidock area. Apparently there has been a surge in interest following recent gaming activity. Don’t throw yourself in the Dood Canal – we can help. Go on, it’s worth a gamble!
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