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 2011 Doomstone Awards

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Number of posts : 761
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: 2011 Doomstone Awards   Fri 18 Feb - 17:16:22

Vote now! club members will be issued with hard copies on Sunday night but e mail me if you will not be in attendance with your votes and nominations.

Following on from the total indifference that met the Power Behind The Throne Awards 2005/6 we present at last back through popular apathy, the Doomstone campaign awards 2011.

Mark only one answer in each category. Canvassing or discussing your vote will result in your vote being disallowed. Other nominations are allowed. You may not nominate or vote for your only character, unless you cheat successfully. Other categories I may have missed welcome!

The award for most pathetic weapon use

Holders: All members of the A Team.

1. Oakshadow for her pathetic attempts to defeat four puny snotlings.
2. Getz for ridiculously attempting to use his heavy crossbow at point blank range where it would be completely ineffective
3. Oakshadow’s pathetic attempt to assassinate the helpless orc shaman
4. Digger’s general uselessness work with his bow

The award for best Cheating.

Holder: Hans Peter for his use of Zone of Tastiness on Ready Steady Cook.

1. Snorri for use of fortune points on every failed roll
2. Digger for using transparent dice
3. Oakshadow for use of a pink diary and undead

Best driving

Holder: Drengi. (Everybody mad)

1. Dr Quakers for being the only driver I can think of.

Best excuse

Joint Holders:
Karl for ‘Yes officer I can assure you that blood on my sword was just a shaving accident I had this morning.’
Calin with ‘Well you are my ninth woman tonight’
Hans Peter with ‘Well of course I haven’t totally perfected that one yet, but I dare say it may grow back eventually.’

1. Snorri for ‘How was I to know the doomstone would do that. Again?
2. Oakshadow for ‘Hey the dead just love me I can’t help it if they insist on crossing over from the other side to do my every bidding.’
3. The elf with ‘Hey all these trees look alike it’s not my fault we’re lost’
4. Snorri with ‘I don’t know where they came from, any way, they could come in very handy, I hope this isn’t some sort of namby pamby liberal anti four armed and bearded creatures agenda.’

Best Death scene

Joint Holders:
Drengi and Thung jointly for ‘Dwarven toast’
Thung for ‘Reach for the Sky’
Sean Connery in ‘The Untouchables’.

1. Skippy drowned horribly in the minotaur cave
2. The Prince assassinated under our (sleeping) noses
3. Ulrika, dismembered by beastmen driven from their home by our raid
4. Scar squashed flat by 15 tonnes of doomstone generated rock
5. The entire population of the aerie at Winters Teeth Pass with the regrettable exception of Klaus the clownsmith

Best Last words

Holder: Calis with ‘That roof would stand an earthquake you cissies.’

1. Ulrika: I wonder if that’s my sexy employers that I hear returning from the cave?
2. Scarr: ‘Thank goodness the foretold have those strange powerful stones, that’ll soon wipe the smiles off the faces of these goblin and orc scum.’
3. The Roostmaster: ‘Don’t worry brethren, remember the prophecy.’

Most stupid behaviour (As usual, this was hotly contested and a tough one to narrow down)

Holder: Drengi for his attempted troll acid harvest

1. Carstein for using his doomstone in the mud filled room as the ogres closed in
2. Snorri for using his doomstone and killing Scar
3. John Smith for having his future told and purse lifted by gypsies
4. Mr Smith’s suggestion to light a beacon fire on the roof of the tower near the river.
5. Digger hails the elf scout with a cry of ‘cooee’ as a giant trapdoor spider attacks
6. Carstein for using his doomstone to blow up one of the monastery towers
7. The orcs for failing to find us after taking the monastery
8. The monks for defending the monastery through an integrated system of working parties, focus groups, extraordinary general meetings and sub committees
9. Snorri for grabbing a passing wyvern (some would say quite heroically) during the siege
10. Oakshadow for flying off leaving her wight to rampage against us
11. Oakshadow using her doomstone and removing the tower floor during the siege
12. Getz for injuring most of the party using his doomstone against the orcs of Karak Zulfor
13. Snorri for gambling in the monastery where it was expressly forbidden
14. Carstein falling down the monastery well
15. Oakshadow for destroying the map to the 4th doomstone

Best performance in a killing capacity

Holder: L’il, ‘Oh it’s all over – How did I get in the middle of this pile of bodies?’
1. Snorri for extreme violence in general
2. The elf for general high proficiency in the insertion of his arrows in other people

Best Use of Magic

Holder: Darren Brown for that revolver thing

1. Carstein for killing two beastmen behind the waterfall using magic darts
2. Carstein for general excellence in rope cutting with darts during the siege
3. Oakshadow for probably saving all our necks with her fell necromancy during the siege.

Best Use of plagiarism in a character name

Holder: Vimes

1. Spencer Tracey
2. John Smith

Best at running away when the going gets tough

Holders: Hans Peter & Phlegm

1. John Smith for completely disappearing
2. Digger for hanging back continually in the monastery siege and Karak Zulfor
3. Getz for the same
4. The elf for always hanging back with his bow.

Most devious

Holder: Phlegm

1. Oakshadow for everything she does and doesn’t do
2. Getz for his Machiavellian inspired leadership

Best performance by someone very short

Holder: Danny DeVito

1. Snorri for extreme stuntyness.

New awards

Most Gullible

1. Ulrich for practically paying Getz to join the party
2. Dr Quakers for swallowing the story about Oakshadow’s wight
3. Getz for trusting Oakshadow
4. The sea elf for trusting Oakshadow
5. Owen for trusting Oakshadow

Climb like a monkey award

1. For falling and nearly breaking his neck climbing up by the waterfall: Digger
2. For falling twice and nearly breaking his neck scaling Karak Zulfor: Digger

Most embarrassing moment

1. The party falling into the water in the entrance cavern behind the waterfall
2. Digger almost drowning crossing the river on the Mary Rose
3. Digger almost drowning in the Blight minotaur cave
4. The elf’s embarrassing attempt at street theatre in Tombstone
5. Digger falls flat in mud filled room
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Lord Payne


Number of posts : 628
Registration date : 2007-05-01

PostSubject: Re: 2011 Doomstone Awards   Tue 22 Feb - 12:42:36

Most calleous Killing spree: Currently held by Kim Yung Chow in Team America for the brutal murder of his translator.

1: Andilwei for the co-ercing of the goblin slaves in Karak Zulfor to their deaths in the Shrine.
2: Lil-Andriel for the slaying of the Jewel in the case of the hidden Jewel. Apparantly she had no issues with killing highway chics who were about to surrender
3: Drengi upon leaving Chernozavtra. Slaying an entire Goblin warband singlehadedly, justfor the pure hell of it
4: The Sigmarites slaying Kinight Eternal of Middenheim - Siegried Plunktvel in Empire in Chaos. It was also commented that it was perhaps somlewhat excessive using an Imperial Hellblaster cannon, great cannon, 2 full companies of handgunners and a unit of archers to finish him off.
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Lord Payne


Number of posts : 628
Registration date : 2007-05-01

PostSubject: Re: 2011 Doomstone Awards   Tue 22 Feb - 12:48:29

Best kept secret award
Current holders: Joint: James Bond 007 and Ongar District Council for their cunning disuise of the Secret Nuclear Bunker...Secret Nuclear Bunker signs displayed everywhere.

1: Carstein for flagrent disregard for keeping Doomstones secret. Here Mistres Dark Elf, have a go at our new toys.
2: Latteriel Oakenshadow, keeping her puppies, well her whole body under wraps in a cold wintery snowy cave.
3: Gimbri for revealing his Chaos Dwarf leniencies.
4: Tzeentch for his cunningly disguised rocks
5: Owen, for telling every one he is a tomb robber - not that the cult of Witch Hunters are likely to be interested in burning him for such heresy.
6: Geoff for trying to get sam to eat his meat feast
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Number of posts : 761
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: Further nominations   Tue 22 Feb - 18:11:44

Digger for shortness (only 2 inches taller than Snorri, Snorri in best plagiarism, Digger in best cheat (fixing these awards) Carstein for causing all the partys clothes to fall off in Yarazan's tomb, Oakshadow for most cowardly... and many more
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