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 The Doctor Is In

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Number of posts : 761
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: The Doctor Is In   Tue 8 Feb - 18:30:19

The Doctor Is In

Herr Doktor Quaker schpeaking hier viz ze first off mein accounts off mein churney viz zeese, zeese…vell: zeese. In ze schtart ve haff zer leeter, vun Mitchell Getz. Ein stinkenpoop at bescht but zey seem to do vot he sez: vell, after ein fashion.

Next ein elf; he ist ein strange vun. Only been wiz zem for ein short passage, zey usse him ass zer scouting person ja? Ver zere’s an elf perhaps ve are not zu finden ein dvarf but hier nein, we are haffing vun Snorri. Alzo in him ve haff encountered our first patient. He ist grumpy und smelly und bat tempert, all in all ein perfect specimen of dvarfenkint. He ist suffering from zome malady vich I confess in mein sirty yearce off practice I have not been seeing.

Some sort of itching complaint, but I am beliefing zer is zome kint off infection, mein examination suggesting deep seated symmetrical tumours, ein phenomenon most unussual und disturbink, but hier I em digressing, I vill put zeese observations in mein metical diary off course.

Zer ist, I am happy to report vun hier mit ein stranger accent zan mein. He ist callt Spencer Tracey, butt eferybotty callz him Dikker for zome reason. Vun ozzer human, ein newcomer callt Owen. Butt I haff saved ze besten until lasten.

She ist anozzer elf, but vot an elf: She glides razzer zan walks, she ist ein goddess amongst vimen, und her botty*,.. ze curfe off her …, ze perfection off her…, und her fetlocks**…magnificence itzelf. Ihre nama ist Oakshadow, und her presence makes ze churney und pittance off ein fee almost bearable. Sattly she has ein massife bottygart who neffer leafs her site.

*Translator’s note: We are not entirely sure what the intended word is here so we leave it to reader interpretation
**Maybe a suggestion here that the good doctor has a vetinary background

Kvite vye I haff attached to zis motley crew I coult not zay, butt I vas really fet up mit Yah, ja? A trip into ze mountains avay from mein pasht, vich seems zeese dayce to be composed entirely off debts off various kints, vell, I suppose it voss too gut to miss. After all, zer are alvays new debts to be created hein?

I em not kvite sure vere ve are headed, butt I em pretty certain zat in zis, I em not being alone. Zay haff allocated to meinself, ze considerable responsibility off driving ze cart. Ja, I know: Unbeliefable, wiz all mein expertiss. Zwei of ze fillage girlz haff also come along, und I em feeling zat mein metical skills will be neeted in certain areas off shall ve say, social infection. Let us be hopink zat mein usual ‘take zwei off zeese and call me in ze mornink’ schtill vorks.

Ve haff moofed off to ze south und zen struck east into ze voods vere ve managed to get lost ein few times, und zen ve headed alongk ze riffer, tracking it seemed some dvarfs for dayce. But in zis perhaps I am in error, as ven ze dvarfs ahet of us crossed ze riffer, after muchen debate, ve continued along its banks instead off following zem.

Ve kampt up* eventually und half ze party vent ahet for ein couple off dayce, but ven zay returnt, it vos opfious zat ze news voss bat. Zerefore ve returnt und crossed ze riffer, following our freunden again. Moving south eastvords ve began to get on ze heels off the dvarfs, moofing slowly zay must be.

*Vot a gay day

Ze howlink off wolfs disturbs our sleepings by ze night, und I em beginning to feel ze site off Oakshadow’s buttocks ist perhaps nicht sufficient fee for zis jop. Ze dwarf ist definitely getting vurse alzo, vich ist not making me look sehr gut to mein new employers.

In ze mornink ve finally catchen uppen viz our quarry, butt most off zem are alretty beyont hilfen off any kint, even off mein brilliance. Ein scholarly dvarf ist ze only surfifor, but he tells our leader news zat seems ausgezeichnet und ve set off viz new determination und purpose it seems. I haff a feeling mein skills may be needed soon, und perhaps not just in ze social disease area hein?

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