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 Of Joshua And Trees

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Number of posts : 761
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: Of Joshua And Trees   Mon 14 Jun - 13:22:29

Of Joshua and Trees…*

*Any resemblance to any major classic rock works is of course, coincidental

Still uncertain as to quite how many of us there are as we continued down the road towards our inevitable destiny. The halfling’s map promised a future containing gypsies and sure enough we soon encountered a camp where a troupe was in the process of feasting on an unfortunate giant anteater of some sort. Their leader, a cross between a pirate and a tennis player named Joshua was very hospitable and we joined the feast. Our wizard’s eye was quickly taken by an attractive pair of twin knife throwers who had some outstanding features and there was a very pleasant young girl who I resolved to get to know better.

Snorri meanwhile enthusiastically joined in with a drinking contest whilst honest John got involved in some gambling, though it wasn’t totally clear exactly what game he was playing all the time and he seemed less successful than usual. He of course claimed he was just lulling them into a false sense of security, but let’s just say he was unusually convincing.

The gypsies sold us loads of fine wine which helped the dwarf along in particular and he won his contest though he got into a fight with one of the competitors. Well as much of a fight as is possible when the parties involved can barely stand.

I chatted with Joshua about the east side of the river and found him to be firmly in the ‘Don’t travel east of the river at this time of night’* camp. He knew of no river crossings and was sceptical of our tales of beastmen and orcs, showing a remarkable faith in the security provided by the border princes, quite surprising considering how much he had been moaning about persecution of his people, presumably under the auspices of those very same princes.

*Or indeed at any hour of the day or night

The wizard and I retired early (separate tents obviously) and were generously determined to further build better relations between the gypsy people and the Empire, a task that we undertook with vigour and determination. Tragically our efforts with the girls (mine was called Mary) were grossly misinterpreted by our hosts. There was also some sort of legal technicality concerning my companion which I couldn’t quite get my head round.*

*Something about the ink being wet on her birth certificate*

*I should have realised that something was wrong when the first thing she asked me to do was read her a story

After some money had changed hands they seemed a little happier, honest John actually managed to pour some oil on troubled waters, probably still impressed with himself after he lifted the drunken dwarf’s winnings. I don’t miss much.

In the morning Johnny boy at some cost witnessed the reading of the ant eaters entrails by the gypsy grandmother. An exercise one notch up from crossing her palm with silver for some lucky heather and clothes pegs. What he learned is highly debateable but is future is probably full of tall dark strangers.

We moved on, later that day catching sight of the tower across the river marked on the orc map. This led to some recriminations about our lack of rope, for which we agreed to blame Getz who was having a quiet day. Fortunately at the camp site we met a traveller (no doubt a herald of free enterprise), who sold us some, and after some hours labour we had fashioned a raft of sorts for crossing the river. It was a titanic struggle as we worked to negotiate the torrid canyon that was the river at this point.

I decided to name the improvised vessel after my conquest of the previous night. What could be luckier than that? So we clambered onto the Mary Rose. I had drawn the duty of chief punter and ferried the party across almost completely without incident.

Later, after I had been resuscitated and dried out, we approached the tower…
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