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 The Other Side Issue 266

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Phlegm

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Number of posts : 751
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: The Other Side Issue 266   Mon 1 Aug - 17:47:22

In Extremis
Fanzine of Extreme Prejudice and the Eternal Champions
Incorporating ‘The Other Side’ Issue 265



Diabolical Disaster
Decisively
Devastates Extreme


Extreme Prejudice 0
Friends of Khorne 2


The Friends of Khorne have had a relatively quiet season so far and were looking for a win in their first competitive match against Extreme having notched up a draw and win in the unfriendlies. Extreme, already talking about writing off this season were looking for their second league win in four attempts.

Fateful Opening
Hastican won the toss and elected to receive infront of a largely hostile crowd. The friends opened with some brilliant coaching and to match it we opened not quite so brilliantly with a double skull by Cranial McCavity, a start that would set the tone for the whole match. This was quickly followed up with a failed block by MVP Shascue for an early turnover.

First Players Off
The ball had fallen short, touched back to rookie Jillicraw Shascue at least now held off some attacks through his foul appearance, but the minotaur dropped beast Bactillia. Fayley Bayley was now harshly sent off fouling a beastman on the left, but the beastman was KO.

Defence Breached
Jillicraw was felled and the ball bounced the unfeasibly agile Warrior fielded by the Friends. On the right, Cheg was stunned and Gatchamee was also on the deck. Malekor Jillicraw and Imrin Vhan tried to hold the left, but Jill was blitzed down opening a path through our defence.

Loose Ball
Gatchamee was now stunned by the minotaur. Jillicraw got the ball back as the warrior was brought down, and held on despite being attacked. Evil Blata was now KO on the right away from the main action, and was destined to play no further part in the game ensuring we would at no point field a full squad for the rest of the game.

Pestigor Slain
Vhan was stunned next, and Jillicraw failed a blitz going for it trying to desperately defend against the score. Another double skull for Gatchamee did not exactly help our cause as the Friends hesitated to eat up the clock. Jet Haberthwaite was then stunned and Gatchamee was fatally injured.

Score Nearly Prevented
Cheg desperately broke back to reach the potential scorer and the chaos side tried to blitz him away but failed because of his foul appearance.
Ironically having failed a go for it, this was a one dice block which could have been our best chance of preventing the score, but lady luck was definitely not with us as you probably will have noted by this stage of the report.

Pestigor Resurrected
However, a simple dodge was all that was required to score and it was duly made. Gatchamee and the KO opposition player both returned (at least regeneration was working). As already mentioned, Blata remained in the KO dugout demanding non-existent babes.

Friends Pour Forward
So only ten of ours to kick off the second half even with Dave, our reserve rotter committed. Cheg was stunned immediately and the Beast went down again. Gatchamee closed down the ball carrying beastman who had caught the high kick and closed up against our right.

Another Turnover
Dave and Vhan moved round to the threatened flank. A couple of beastmen faced Malekor and Jill in the centre and left almost everybody else in a giant melee in the centre. McCavity fell seriously injured in the mess. An attempted pass now was fumbled as disturbing presences told on the thrower and once again Jill found herself with the ball after Cheg downed the ball carrier.

Another Ball Lost
Inevitably, Jill was felled but more surprisingly, the ball bounced into the hands of Vhan. Jet and the beast were now stunned though the minotaur became a wild animal for the first time. Yet another double skull hit us around this point, but now Vhan fell dodging away leaving the ball loose again.

More Calamitous Blocking
After the big handed, extra armed beastman collected the ball it looked like he was still in trouble as he had no distance between himself and several of our key players, but yet another double skull for us, this time by Cheg soon sorted that out. The Friends did not hang about this time scoring their second with an immediate pass. There could be no coming back from this, the perfect end to a perfect series of disasters surely unparalleled in Extreme history.

Still Chance of Consolation
Vhan returned but McCavity failed to regenerate leaving us down to nine. The ball fell deep on our left hand side and Jillicraw could not get all the way back to it. There was little time left, Cheg got forward but again Jillicraw could not keep possession to pass for the possible if unlikely score.

Fans Demand Money Back
The Friends ended the match with a failed pass, but not before an exchange of casualties, Dave scoring one for us and Jillicraw being injured. Jet also knocked out the Minotaur with a late foul. A terrible result with an estimated five double skulls for us and only one for the chaos side. Debutant Jillicraw certainly saw a lot of the ball though did nothing with it, McCavity misses next match.

Coach Dispirited
Hastican gave a muted address, it’s rumoured that his position is under threat with Vagilex ready to step in as caretaker at least:
‘Twisted vigilance and skull orientated decorations. Muscle toned blank balanced blow torch incessant badgered tolerances. Quite egotistical filtered windscreen trained antelopes.’

This result puts the Friends second in the league by our reckoning, displacing Extreme to add insult to injury. With modest winnings there is still no sign of Extreme getting anywhere close to a competitive squad.

How long will the patience of the fans and more importantly, the owners last? It does not look good for Slaughter End’s finest for whom crisis appears to be just the normal routine order of the day in these difficult, some might say extreme times.

The ICF
Just a selection of Club Shop Offers for the New Season:

The Viral Library range:

Pride and Pestilence

The Water Rabies

Biographies

A Bug’s Life*
Hastican’s Autobiography

A Farewell To Arms

*Readers are warned that this has been translated in the usual manner and is…well let’s just say it’s written in pure Hastican

Also available, a range of Players’ Favourite Films:

Dirty Rotter Scoundrels

Lord of the flies

Contagion

The Satan Bug

The Untouchables

Rabid

Influenza with a Vampire

The Chronicles of Nurglia

The Green Mould

Infectiana Jones

Total Relapse

Catch Me If you Can

One Flu over the Cuckoo’s nest

Diptheria Throat

The Mucus

The Mucus Reloaded

The Mucus Revolutions

Infection

Clear Unpleasant Danger

I Spit on your Gravy

The Vampire Strikes Back

Our Music Selection – it’s infectious!

Includes the latest from:

Putrid Image Limited
(fronted of course by Johnny Rotten*)

*No, really

Botulism Culture Club

Simply Dead

Guns & Rotters

Daemonic Kitten

THE ICF:
1st For Tacky Team Souvenirs

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