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 The Other Side Issue 265

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Phlegm

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Number of posts : 753
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: The Other Side Issue 265   Mon 4 Jul - 15:32:25

In Extremis
Fanzine of Extreme Prejudice and the Eternal Champions
Incorporating ‘The Other Side’ Issue 265

Extreme Revenge Themselves on Cup Finalists

Extreme Prejudice 2
Human Waste 1


Both sides were fielding twelve players as they met for the third time this season; Hastican still looking for a win against the humans as well as revenge for elimination from the Chaos cup and the slaying of pestigor Maximillus. Conditions were perfect as the two squads assembled.

Grudge Match
The humans were probably not terribly happy about the three players they had lost in those encounters, indeed Dick and Dave, two of the seven rotters involved on this day were ex Human Waste players. Hastican won the toss and elected to receive, cheered on by 18,000 of the 30,000 fans in attendance. Although Extreme were the slightly weaker squad, there were no inducements available.

Riotous Scenes
Dick sat out the first drive for us and the game commenced with a traditional riot when a careless human knocked over a beastman’s drink. Bactillia, perhaps distracted by the bodies still being cleared from the stands at kick off became really stupid straight away, but Gatchamee collected the ball easily enough.

Foul Humans
Dave then failed a block against his old comrades for a turnover and a blitzer broke through and stripped Gatchamee, however the ball bounced back to the burly pestigor rather stumping the humans. A further strip attempt failed as we began to advance and the humans turned to fouling, Cheg their first victim, though fortuitously little damage was done.

Waste Press For Ball
Malekor now scored a casualty and the humans’ thrower fell stunned. The action was on our right and Gatchamee was at last successfully blitzed down, the ball falling to a lineman in the clutches of Bactillia’s tentacles. This was the second failed attempt to free up the ball, it seemed the humans’ gods were not with them.

Humans Wasted Opportunities
A failed block left the ball loose behind our beast. Malekor failed to pick it up, but then a human blitzer going for the ball comically knocked himself out dodging unsuccessfully. The ball broke to Dave and now we knocked out the human thrower too, but time was running out.

Extreme Grind On
We advanced up the right and with four players off the field injured or KO the humans were giving ground. Bactillia went down failing a block now, releasing potential threats to our attack. The enemy catcher got right in Dave’s face but was driven away by successive blocks from flanking players who frustratingly failed to floor him.

Superb Score
A path was cleared and a critical hand off to Evil Blata and go for it gave us a final turn score. This returned one of the three KO humans and the nine available players set up heavily overloading our left. The kick was a touchback somewhat academically but Dick who had come on for Fayley Bayley was killed in the brief attack. Our seventh dead player in just twelve games, no wonder Extreme cannot get momentum going this season.

Stunted Kick
So tied on casualties and 1-0 up but the second half would see the humans receive. A second KO player recovered so they now had ten players available against our full squad. We had formed a double line of defence and the kick fell very short, almost in front of our beast’s maw. The humans had left this area clear with the scrimmage line only occupied on the flanks. Another short riot ensued.

Disastrous Coaching Error
A blitz against our secondary line now failed as the blitzer miscalculated and failed an unnecessary go for it. How tragic. This left us with three unmarked players just yards from the ball and not a human in sight. Half of the Waste hit the deck and Bactillia and Cranial McCavity moved in front of the ball.

Beast Down!
A trio of rotters moved up behind them but then a lucky blitz knocked out our beast. The blitzer was felled and himself KO by Evil Blata with a well-placed foul and Gatchamee grabbed the ball. Jet Haberthwaite scored yet another KO backfield where a few humans had been left from the early failed assault.

Fortunate Humans
A mass of players from both sides were swarming around Gatchamee and the situation was very tight. Shascue went down to another lucky block and the ball fell loose as the humans managed somehow to down Gatchamee. A player broke away downfield, we had no defenders able to intercept and the equaliser went in.

Referee Disgrace
This brought back a KO for the Waste and Bactillia also recovered. Nine v eleven then for this drive. A fine cheerleading performance (Keith in particular in fine form) saw a touchback to Malekor who began to drive up the right flank. Dave was now unfairly sent off fouling one of the three stunned linemen who had drawn the short straws to be on the scrimmage line.

Humans Collapsing
A strong defensive screen of players proved too much for the defence, go for its being heavily used to advance attackers to ensure that the only way to our ball carrier was down corridors of near certain death. A human was now sent off for a foul on Cheg, two others were caught in tentacles and with our superior numbers it was a tentacled player who was forced to try a desperate blitz to halt our attack.

Pestigor Has Easy Run In
Bactillia held him firm and the attack failed, enabling us to run in the winning score. A great performance then with a superb move for our first score and a lesson in domination for the second. Our only regret letting go a superior position allowing the humans their equaliser.

Coach Effusive
Hastican was jubilant: ‘Terrific ensemble and fractured jaws brought beacons of tied rice into virtual maxima. What kibbled knapsacks, towering enfilades of lemon juiciness.’

League Update

Our first look at league standings this season sees the following:*

Eternal Champions
P 4 W 3 L 0 D 1 41
Extreme Prejudice
P 3 W 1 L 1 D 1 17
Friends Of Khorne
P 1 W0 L0 D 1 5
Green Daze
P1 W 0 L 1 D 0 0
Human Waste
P 2 W 0 L 2 D 0 0
Niggling Nagarothians
P 2 W 1 L 1 D 0 12
Ratastrophe
P1 W0 L0 D1 5
Reptile Dysfunction
P 0 W 0 L 0 D 0 0

So the Eternals top the table with Extreme a long way behind, followed by the dark elves, Skaven and chaos (separated by casualty difference only), then the elves, with humanity trailing on touchdown difference. The Lizard men, distracted by the Chaos cup, yet to begin their league campaign.

*12 points for a win, 5 for a draw. Ties resolved by TD difference, then TD scored, then casualty difference, then casualties scored, then bribery. Each team plays every other twice


Chaos Cup Semi Final Result

The Lizard men of Reptile Dysfunction met the hordes of Chaos in the shape of the Friends of Khorne and triumphed 1-0 in a disappointingly tame game casualty wise. The reptiles go through against Human Waste, fresh from their defeat by Extreme. Should be an interesting match.

With the ICF sponsorship of the event, we are of course very disappointed to miss out on this prestigious competition this season, we can only hope that the teams involved destroy each other or there is some natural calamity delivered by the chaos gods to destroy these upstarts. All our readers are invited to make the necessary offerings and sacrifices to encourage such events.

Dungeonbowl Update

Nothing has happened as yet. Stay tuned for more gripping updates!

The ICF

Sponsors of the ICF Chaos Cup

• We’re proud to back Hastican and his team

• Their uncompromising approach typifies the ICF Philosophy

• Hit them hard

• Hit them fast

• Hit them when they’re down

• Then Hit them again

• Keep that bouncy thing out of the way

• Then hit them yet again.

• Rules?

• Extreme Prejudice: A breath of slightly rotten fresh Air

• Visit the ICF Stand at Slaughter End for more details

The Incorporated Chaos Force:

In the Immortal Words of Hastican himself:

[b]‘Festered Macaroons Rot Savage Incontinence’[/b]
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