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 The Other Side Issue 261

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Phlegm

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Number of posts : 751
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: The Other Side Issue 261   Mon 23 May - 19:40:08

In Extremis
Fanzine of the Eternal Champions and Extreme Prejudice
Incorporating ‘The Other Side’
                   Issue 261

Unhappy Daze Out Of Cup

Extreme Prejudice 1 Green Daze 0

Extreme’s stuttering start in the unfriendlies, two wins and two draws in seven, meant that they needed to play a preliminary eliminator for the right to play in the Chaos cup proper. With both squads just eleven strong, Hastican was hoping for a repeat of the recent unfriendly win against the inexperienced elves.

Green Daze Assessed
The elvish side was very unbalanced, forced by recent injuries to use two journeymen and most of its value concentrated in its hyper agile thrower and deadly war dancer. The elves were better supported than us with around 17,000 out of the 30,000 crowd, but it was Extreme who benefitted from extra training.

Elves Seize Initiative
Winning the toss we elected to receive and the game opened with a blitz which saw a daring/foolish lineman enter our half as the ball fell very short just behind the left hand side of our scrimmage line. The weather was cold and snow threatened but the first half at least was played in fine conditions.

Daze Dazed
Cheg opened with an immediate casualty on the first block that saw the elven apothecary brought into action. Jet Haberthwaite blitzed down the impudent interloper. The ball then bounced to him as Evil Blata failed to pick it up.

Daze Organise
The two star players of Green Daze, the thrower and War Dancer moved up to face our left as the elves adopted their defensive tactic of forming a line just off our attack, a tactic that would serve them well this half. Orblio fell stunned in the centre, a rare blocking success for the opposition.

Setback Suffered
Jet, slightly surprised to be holding the ball showed some indecision but finally the rotter moved across towards the centre.  The war dancer then blitzed and knocked out Pestigor Gotchamee in what would be the only casualty of any sort we would suffer, indeed we would only suffer a couple of stuns this game.

Pass Disrupted
Jet then went down as the elves pressed their attack and the loose ball was recovered and passed towards a lineman who had entered our half unmarked on the right. However, and fortunately for us the disturbing presences of Cranial McCavity and Shascue nearby put the thrower off and the ball was loose again.

Ball Recovered
Three of our rotters gathered around the ball whilst their comrade Orblio managed a second casualty for us in the centre. Malekor then added a third blitzing the would-be pass recipient who won’t be available for Green Daze next match as a result. Evil Blata collected the ball and made  slowly for the distant end zone again.

Unbelievable Defending
The elves massed infront of our attack and Blata failed to down the enemy catcher who challenged him as the elves packed their defenders in. Blata was forced to hand off to fellow rotter Qualacob who resumed the advance, but even though all marked the five defenders screening our advance were able to break away and the pesky war dancer stunned the rotter, the ball bouncing to a nearby lineman.

Pass Failure Ends Half
The elf thrower was at extreme range for a long bomb and the dodging lineman got clear and away from Cheg’s disturbing presence to pass and turn the tables. Fumble! End of half, our drive unsuccessful but the elves reduced to seven for theirse as their KO failed to recover and Qualacob had also scored a casualty.

Early Failure
We kicked relatively deep and fairly central in blizzard conditions and the elves turned it over at once as their over confident catcher tried to wriggle past Jet on our extreme right. Shascue nearly cocked up with his first block in turn but his training kicked in and we forced the elves back slowly, only downing the thrower.

More Bad Luck for Daze
The elves now curiously ignored the ball choosing to bring up their war dancer instead and the thrower fell failing to dodge away to recover it. Evil Blata now collected the ball and Imrin Vhan fouled the luckless thrower injuring him.

Dazed Daze
Blata headed to the line and another elf dodge now failed as a lineman failed to elude Cheg. The war dancer was now KO, foul by Fayley Bayley who was dismissed by the overzealous official. Just five elves left on the pitch, all down. Two more KO, one a failed dodge and one a foul by Orblio.

Biased Referee
Just three elves left and Orblio sent off as Blata continued to hold on the line. Gotchamee then blitzed a lineman into the crowd for another KO. Qualacob became our third send off and with five elves KO and four injured, there were just two left on the pitch as Blata strolled over the line. 1-0 end of match.

No Quarter Possible
A brutal performance by the team who capitalised on the elves lack of reserves and did not give them a chance in the second half. However the elves dogged defence in the first half had shown that even depleted and on the back foot they could break away at any time, and Extreme certainly took no chances.

Coach Critique
Hastican’s comments endorsed this. (We think): ‘Cup deference and monetary twenty first, alien intent after stars engaged and crystallised fruit. Quibbling intercession of waggly platitudes integrated with visions of the Dutch. Scouting ninetieth prior to visitation, where are trials, baubles and where are autographs?’

Squad Strengthened
So Extreme are through to the cup proper, winnings allowed them to purchase Bactillia, a promising Nurgle Beast that Hastican has been nurturing for some time. The beast will be welcomed with a three day slime barding tournament to be held next week to celebrate. Also joining the franchise: Keith, who controversially joins Infection Guaranteed as the first male cheerleader in the franchise.

Cup Latest

With Extreme through, the Chaos cup position is now settled, and with so few entries and the ruling this season that inter franchise ties are forbidden, it’s straight to the semi-finals:

Extreme Prejudice V
Human Waste

Reptile Dysfunction V
Friends Of Khorne


The Eternals are allocated the Dungeonbowl of course, we still await news of this competition. We asked TOS favourite Grizzler Greybeard for his views on the cups this season:

‘Well I’m very disappointed this season: Not a dwarf team in sight and no one has even considered using a deathroller it seems to me. I can’t understand how the league even allows teams to play without one, it’s certainly not proper Bloodbowl TM in my book without one.’

‘A lot of the teams this season seem very weak and inexperienced, only the Nigglers, Eternals and Friends of Khorne seem to have shown any potential so far, I mean if the Eternals are being mentioned as one of the best teams in the league you know somethings wrong, right?’

‘I’m a traditionalist so I like to see Chaos teams winning the Chaos cup if dwarves are unavailable, ideally chaos dwarves of course, so I’m tipping the Friends of Khorne in Bloodbowl V. For the Dungeonbowl, well the form book says the Niggling Nagarothians, but I can’t find it in me to tip elves. I would go for the Eternals on form, but that flies in the face of history given their cup record so I’m hoping we see a real surprise here with someone like the new skaven team snatching it, Leicester city style.*’

*TOS has no idea what Grizzler is referring to here, answers on a postcard please.

The ICF:

Chaos is our business – Let us disorganise your calendar with the new ICF Disorganiser:

• Guaranteed that you won’t be able to get correct sized refills

• Calendar errors subtly placed for maximum impact

• Pen supplied has patented ICF Fadeink – illegibility sets in within 3-5 days

• Unique address book randomiser shuffles address elements

• Camouflage treatment and size make it extremely losable. In fact, if you haven’t lost it within the first month at least once, we’ll give you your money back

• Available in all colours but obviously we will supply you randomly whatever you request

• If you still have it 12 months after purchase, we’ll replace it free of charge*

*This will be lost in the post

THE ICF:

[b]Chaos Delivered: Dominion Through Domination[/b]
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