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 The Other SIde Issue 260

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Phlegm

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Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: The Other SIde Issue 260   Mon 9 May - 10:38:19

THE OTHER SIDE
Fanzine of the Eternal Champions and Extreme Prejudice Issue 260


Nigglers Knackered And Neutralised By Nuclear Onslaught

Eternals 2 Niggling Nagarothians 0.

The Dark Elves came one player light leaving them with a reserve free squad which would prove unfortunate for them. Despite this, they outgunned us on points and we took a babe with us who would be untroubled during a game that saw us kill crush and destroy in the finest traditions of Lost in Space.

We Kick Off To Brilliant Coaching
We lost the toss and the Nigglers decided to receive. We fielded all our usual first line players plus zombies Dredd, Nefacay and Slasher Pendle. We kicked deep and the elves tried hard and unsuccessfully to force our line back as the golems stood firm. A quick pass backfield and little progress for the visitors other than Slasher who was briefly stunned.

Witch KO Early
We concentrated our attack on the powerful witch elf star player of the Nigglers. Wolf Ray Fin Ren with his blitz forced her into our players then Golem Skort Lifta tried to down her. Finally she fell KO to wight Strax. In response MVP Golem Okla the Slayer fell and a blitz put Ray down. The ball carrier advanced cautiously looking for an opening as we kept ghoul Rimlat and wolf Zash relatively deep to see which way the attack would develop.

Mass Bundle Midfield
The elves had been drawn into a tight knot in the centre, you could have dropped a net on the centre spot and caught about sixteen players.* As a result the Dark ones had to make a series of fifty fifty blocks. They failed on the fourth for a turnover. Ray scored another KO with his blitz and then there were nine.

*Fortunately Constable Postlethwaite and his stewards intervened and the potential net hurler was led away.

Freakish Golem Dodge
The elves broke through on the left running a blitzer deep after flooring Slasher again and eluding Dredd’s tackle. A pass to him was dropped but unbelievably it bounced back to his hand. Then an unbelievable coaching error by Creoch: Pondering how to get defenders back to the distant blitzer with the ball, he decided best to avoid a risky dodge by ghoul Amyra (who of course can dodge) by dodging Okla the Flesh Golem, yes Flesh Golem, in order to bring his guard skills to help clear away Amyra’s markers.*

*Everybody got that?

Error Unpunished
The tricky manoeuvre came off allowing a couple of defenders to be forced back. Amyra dropped back to mark the upstart blitzer, then Zash blitzed from distance, forcing him into the crowd in a frenzied attack. And then there were eight. The ball was thrown back right into the centre of the field, next to Skort. Nefacay moved up to protect it and two elves fell stunned by wight She’Hem Maplin and Ray. The elves were well marked, but with elves that means little of course.

Dark Elves Recover Ball
The elves quickly demonstrated their dodging skills and forced Nefacay onto the ball and it bounced eventually to one of the players they had brought up. With the attack threat on the right, the Eternals first disposed of the left flank, Rimlat scoring a casualty, the runner, and Slasher a stun. And then there were seven.

Breakout Fails
Ray now blitzed the ball carrier but he kept his feet against the big wolf. The three elves now tried to break out of their cage of defenders. Okla, Ray, Strax and Nefacay were all eluded as two dodged clear, but then the ball carrier’s blitz attempt to break free against Ray Fin Ren failed leaving the ball rolling clear.

Second Injury
Ray himself scooped it up and broke away, and after a round of blocking only the blitzer placed as a deep attacking threat remained on his feet. Ray was tantalisingly just in range of one of the floored linemen but he fell desperately going for it and was carried off injured. And then there were six.

Send Off Apiece
To celebrate, with plenty of time and the opposition little threat, Slasher carried out a foul only to be sent off by the harsh official. Zash was then blitzed down as the Nigglers managed to get a couple of players on their feet, the follow up foul resulted in a send-off however as the excellent official decided to balance up his earlier poor decision.*

*As a result fans sportingly released his wife and family unharmed.

Eternals Take Lead
Zash failed to revenge himself on the player who assisted the unsuccessful foul on him and Ray ended the half by running in the score for a lead against the drive. The witch elf sadly recovered for the second half but nevertheless this left only eight elves to kick off whilst we substituted the dismissed Slasher with Itria and rotated Nefacay replacing him with Fect.

Blitz!
The kick was deep on our left closest to Rimlat, the Dark Elves undaunted by their lack of numbers blitzed with the freshly rested witch. Maplin on our left flank was stunned but the counter saw the witch elf KO again, this time by Ray. Back to seven. Rimlat now failed to pick up the ball and it rolled into our end zone.

Elves on Back Foot
The Dark elves were unable to penetrate our defence and Rimlat collected the ball successfully and passed to Amyra who advanced on the left. Ray scored another KO reducing them to six. The elves dropped their defenders back, those that were still able to drop back any way.

Kill For Us
Using our superior numbers we were able to mark up most of the enemy strongly but Amyra was then blocked and had the ball stripped. A blitzer dodged away from Dredd and Itria, but the former tackled him causing a fatal injury. Five left. The apothecary acted immediately and with swift, sure professional ministering killed him even more completely. Creoch, ever happy to lend a hand* stepped in and raised the corpse.

*Or ThingTM where necessary

Another Blond Moment For Coach
Creoch was so distracted welcoming the new player that he was called for an illegal procedure. Spurred by the call Rimlat scored his second casualty and the teams fourth, four left, whilst the impudent ball stripper was KO by Ray. Three left. Amyra recovered the ball again and moved off. Fect carried out a foul and then a Niggler did too but was sent off. Down to two!

Unopposed Score
Fect fouled ineffectually and Amyra ran in the score with just two helpless Nigglers on the pitch. The Nigglers had three players in the KO dugout, one dead and three injured plus two sent off, only one of the KO players recovered for the final drive, leaving them just three players available to set up on the scrimmage line.

Final Kick Off
But three is all you need so we kicked off bringing on new Zombie Arze to face his former teammates, plus Pore Killer, substituting Itria and Fect. A perfect snap and short kick left the elves with the ball but the trio were quickly engulfed by our eleven and Rimlat unbelievably scored his third casualty.

Turncoat Scores KO
Their counter attack focused on Strax unsurprisingly failed and Arze scored a KO fouling. Game over. A completely destructive performance against the Dark Elf side who only recently received the TOSSA for best newcomers based on their highly successful record so far. Good winnings for us and they bought a new witch with theirs, a devastating performance by the Champions.

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