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 Gone Fishing

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Phlegm

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Number of posts : 751
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: Gone Fishing   Wed 30 Mar - 15:58:43

Gone Fishing
So darlings Magenta De Frille reporting from the SS Gorbachov where hunky if paranoid Captain Omar and his faithful hunky… well, hunk, Thud are my companions in peril. All is quiet on planet Pooja though it sounds like the galactic war involving the Rimaldi has now been joined by galactic plague sweeping through at least two systems so far.

The Captain has received a mission from one Elizabeth Hale. Apparently the Rimaldi are behind the afore mentioned plague, deliberately infecting some stupid mercenaries* who began the spread of the carnage. The plague cure is contained in the DNA of certain fish from Denzar III. A nearby Rimaldi planet has a noted zoo containing specimens of the beasts concerned. The Captain has agreed to recover two specimens or at least goodly samples of their genetic material.

*Don’t you just hate stupid mercenaries darling?


There are twenty thousand reasons each plus expenses that make this a great plan. Only problem is that Thud is AWOL. My immediate mission is to locate the man mountain of brainlessness that is our top grenadier. Where oh where could I possibly find him is the vexatious question of the hour… Oh wait in the immortal words of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost….Pub?

Incredibly I don’t find him in a pub. What was I thinking? Yes he’d already been thrown out. The landlord helpfully provided me with a jug of, well, urine by the smell of it, but what the hey… Whatever it was it revivified our trusty warrior who reacted in his usual balanced, measured and meticulously considered approach that has gotten him the death sentence in twelve systems. He lashed out at me, missed and broke his nose, drunkenly colliding with a wall as I sidestepped him.

I casually stunned him with my stun baton, dropping him back into the pile of blood puke and worse I had already extracted him from once. Ho hum, so how to get 200lbs of brawn, bone and muscle and five grams of brain matter back to the ship? Well the captain had asked me to hire some cannon fodder, sorry skilled warriors to assist on the mission, so I checked back in the pub and came across three moustaches called Jose, Jarod and Dave.

Twenty credits a day will be the cost for our new friends who efficiently transport the body of Thud back to the ship and dump him unceremoniously at the airlock entrance. The three amigos then disappear saying they will return the next day.

We then retired for the night but it was not be an untroubled rest. The Captain awoke during the night, stirred by the noise of intruders tripping over the comatose Thud. Deciding to question the intruders first Captain Omar opened his interrogation by vaporising the head of the leading intruder with his trusty laser pistol.

The second one immediately surrendered and got as far as mentioning the Rimaldi before our sweet but somewhat stern minded Captain decides he’s heard enough and sends him to oblivion too. Spaceport security* then arrived to express concern for our welfare but also more particularly that if we have shot anyone on our sovereign territory can we please not embarrass them by littering their spaceport with any dead bodies that create them an awful lot of paperwork?

*Airport security were unavailable

The Captain very reasonably agreed and orders the bodies frozen. I meanwhile recovered their IDs which appear to indicate that the two freshly minted corpses were brothers working for a contract cleaning company based in the spaceport complex. I decoded a message on their compads instructing them to sabotage our ship to delay its launch.

The Captain had decided that we needed assistance for the operation, specifically someone who can handle fish and someone with medical expertise who can analyse DNA. I was sent to check out the background of the cleaners, the Captain went looking for equipment to kit out the hold.

He came back having hired an unidexter* game fish expert named Quint, a man so good at fishing he once used his own leg as bait. A crew under his supervision fitted out the hold with aquariums big enough to hold very large fish we sought.

*With a nod to Pete ‘n Dud

Meanwhile checking out the cleaners I found two family homes at the addresses concerned both in middle class areas, and discrete enquiries at their cleaning company confirmed their employment there. It appears they were either very deep cover operatives or had been forced to act for the Rimaldi, the latter theory appears more credible given their lack of weapons, amateurish approach and basic equipment.

The Captain meanwhile went to a medical institute seeking his expert, but they seemed heavily unavailable. Professor Rimal was at a funeral Professor MacBoatface is who knows where, Professor Slater was also away but might see us tomorrow. Even dropping our employer’s name failed to generate any further result.

The Captain started to plot a kidnapping of Professor Slater after making an appointment to see her the next day. Meanwhile in other news…the plague has spread to another system and wait, isn’t that Professor Abigail Slater on the news feed announcing that she is going on a mission to find a cure?

All this is very confusing, I seriously doubt her story and express my concern by visiting the local casino and winning a thousand credits. I did plan to find some rich gambler to lighten his wallet but confusingly I have little recollection of what actually happened other than some memories of gambling, a man in a black suit and an exquisite pair of silk gloves that I appear to have acquired without the benefit of any visits to a haberdashery.*

*And to Channel Bomb Number 20 from Cult Classic ‘Dark Star’, My memory is good on matters like these.

I returned to the ship after my casino excursion still wondering slightly what had happened when I noticed I was being followed. A hooded furtive figure was running towards me, fortunately not towards our trigger happy Captain. I pulled my pistol and unlike our Captain ordered the figure to halt. Turned out to be Abigail Slater, in fear of her life with armed men in pursuit.

I called for aid and was about to shoot three pursuers who emerged from the darkness* when they all dropped, shot from an unseen vantage point, and what do you know? The three Amigos emerged grinning as they blew imaginary smoke from their magnums. Mind you they also reported more pursuers approaching. We bundled Slater aboard whilst the Captain discovered that we were completely safe and could relax as Space port security would be with us. In twenty minutes.**

*Somewhere in the Ipswich area apparently
**Apparently Corporal Nobbs was on a statutory break.


Two trucks now pulled up disgorging a Vortex Cannon and some angry men. We decided to make our excuses and leave. As our exhaust caught the Cannon it appeared to explode in our wake. Probably get a bill for that from Pooja Spaceport. Abigail meanwhile was a bit of a wreck, but seemed to have brought with her lots of useful kit. During our trip she gradually calmed down and we established some more info.

Some of the attackers from the second attack had wyvern tattoos indicating an allegiance to the Wyvern Corporation.* Slater was supposed to be misleading the opposition with her broadcast about going to find a cure, her colleagues were already dead or missing. She had extensive detailed data on our targets and equipment that would prove useful. The three amigos we now recognised as a well known trio of mercenaries of some repute, making us wonder why they were happy with twenty credits a day.

*Probably an umbrella term for several companies.

My efforts to get closer to two of the three failed and I did not attempt it on tongueless Dave as I do insist on a bit of tongue. Not entirely trusting them, or Slater, or Quint for that matter, we agreed on a safeword to indicate treachery of ‘Ibrahim’.* We began work on the plan for the raid: We had details of security strength, location of nearby civil and military police bases, access codes, plans of the zoo, recommended approach routes.

*Not convinced Thud grasped this concept

We selected approach via the Monkey enclosure, agreed on the need for a diversion, a night operation and the need for scouting and vehicles for transporting the fish. Meanwhile as we travelled we monitored continuing news of the plagues spread through more systems.

We scouted the zoo in daylight, noting camera locations, seeing how the reality matched our intel. We discovered that the access codes we had were out of date, but this seemed no problem to the three amigos. Thud and Captain Omar discovered that the monkey like creatures in the enclosure were adept thieves though luckily they failed to get the remote detonator I had fabricated for the explosives we were to use for the diversion.

We placed a bomb in a litter bin by the closest police station and at the time determined by the security shift patterns and darkness parked our vehicles outside the zoo. Thud took out one elderly security guard in the gents, but being female I was forced to tackle mine outside. My ambush did not go entirely smoothly, the guard got a message off, fortunately only to the corpse of his colleagues that Thud had flushed away.

I went to the control centre and disabled the cameras and then deleted the records of the evening and our previous visit. Meanwhile our two rented grav sleds under Quint’s direction transported the two five foot long giant eel like creatures successfully to our truck. During these operation we were twice saved by Dave who somehow prevented slippage of the tanks with super human strength.

As we drove off the Captain triggered the remote but obviously made some error as there was no distant explosion and the remote itself exploded just after he tossed the shorting box out of the window. We lifted off after a successful transfer to the Gorbachov only to be intercepted in orbit by two gunboats. Jose manned our ships main batteries and we exchanged fire as Captain Omar made heavy weather of pulling away from our slower pursuers.

One enemy ship was destroyed though we took a couple of hits before jumping to safety. Safety may be too strong a word though as at our next docking we suddenly found ourselves being boarded by nasty troopers in power armour who depressurised the ship forcing us to don vac suits. The three amigos defended one boarding action, Thud and Omar the other as I protected the hold and our valuable cargo.

The battle did not go well, I was on my way to help when the three amigos yet again rescued the situation, Omar already down seriously wounded. We lived to earn our fabulous 40k reward and save the day with the cure to the plague, but it was the amigos who had the last laugh revealing as many had increasingly expected* that they were aliens on a mission to prevent their weaponised DNA being used to create the Rimaldi plague. If anyone was going to use it to destroy humanity, it would they assured us, be at a time and in a manner of their choosing and not that of some petty primitive human faction.

*Except probably Thud

26.3.16
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