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 The Other Side Issue 256

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Phlegm

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Number of posts : 747
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: The Other Side Issue 256   Mon 21 Mar - 14:41:58

IN EXTREMIS
Fanzine of Extreme Prejudice Issue 256


Elves Dazed After Extreme Battering

Extreme Prejudice 2
Green Daze 0

The Wood Elf newcomers attended Slaughter End for their third match and 23,000 fans came to see the calibre of Coach Green and his team, yet to post their first win and highly depleted fielding three journeymen after a brutal encounter with the Nagarothians. Home fans were looking for Extreme’s second win in this their sixth unfriendly of BBV.

First Drive
Extreme won the toss and decided to receive and the kick off was touched back to Maximillus. We began a general advance surging through on the right with a lot of the elves down a failed dodge blitz marked the first turnover for the visitors who were forced time and again to put their famous agility skills to the test.

First Wood Elves Leave Field
Maximillus closed with the line as Malekor got the first stun of the day and newcomer Fayley Bayley scored the first KO. A second dodge blitz failed to get to Max and Extreme continued to delay the score a casualty now inflicted by Fayley with an unpunished foul and a KO for Jet Haberthwaite.

Elves Bottled Up
Our first turnover occurred when Orblio went down himself whilst tackling the enemy catcher. Max was now tackled but kept his feet and a serious injury resulted from a failed dodge as a lineman tried to pass Qualacob down the side line. The enemy thrower meanwhile was pinned in the corner and in danger of going off the field but he and another teammate managed at last to floor Max.

Lucky Bounce
Warrior Cheg kept the pressure on scoring a fourth KO and the thrower was dumped into the elven section of the crowd. Evil Blata failed collecting the loose ball but it dropped fortuitously to Malekor nearby who scored.

Elves Build Attack
The end of the drive brought back two KO players for brief final turn and then on to the second half when a further KO player returned. Eight elves faced our full squad for the second period therefore and our kick off. The elves broke through on the left with a successful pass but could not get enough distance to be safe.

Defence Thwarts Onslaught
Warrior Shascue blitzed down the ball carrier and it bounced off the field to be thrown in deep and centrally in our half. Malekor did well making up ground to recover the ball and the tables had been turned.

Valiant Effort By Visitors
The pestigor drove through the centre after a rapid turnover and Evil Blata continued with the fouling, stunning a downed elf midfield. The elves then pulled some desperate defending breaking through our scattered defence to fell Malekor. The elves managed to recover the ball after Max failed to do so but then fumbled an attempt to pass the ball out to the right.

Second Score
Fayley, having a good match scored another KO, then Blata another with a foul. Max managed to get the ball this time and headed for the end zone, the Green Daze thrower now knocked himself out with yet another failed dodge blitz trying to elude Bayley. Cheg added another KO as Max ran in.

Last Rites
This brought back four of the five occupants of the KO dugout, only the catcher failing to return but it was all over. A final footnote was the harsh sending off of Evil Blata for another foul as the elves tried to stay out of trouble and avoid any more damage.

Elves Denied Ball
So a poor performance by the untried elves: They were forced into making scores of dodges by dogged pressing defence and showed lots of ambition keeping players downfield as a scoring threat but they failed to get enough of the ball which is the key to the elves game and without it could not punish Extreme.

Future Promise
With more experience and team training they will doubtless improve, the return of their missing war dancer and two others will help their cause and they have good winnings to invest that should give them cause for optimism. Only one player will miss the next match so they probably won’t need any loners next time, though to be fair their three loners did not cause any of their problems in this game.

Workmanlike Performance
Extreme showed good discipline and although it would have been nice to see some of the knock outs converted to casualties you could not argue with an efficient display, even so the fumbled pass was a warning that elf teams are always only a heartbeat from a score. Pestigor Gotchamee surprisingly the MVP, our first skill award for Maximillus.

Coach Comment
Hasticans verdict: ‘Awkward cat litter engaged malfeasance and integrated pineapple juice, combined scientology excess and spirited rebounds in transcendent torturers. How crucially unfairness whittles and tabulates potential observational.’

TOSS Award Date Confirmed
TOS can exclusively reveal that the 11th Annual TOSS Awards will take place on April 23rd at Crawley Towers. All coaches have confirmed their attendance and it’s thought that approximately 39 awards will be presented on the day.

Around The Leagues

• Human Waste draw 1-1 with Friends of Khorne in match described as dull as ditch water by luckless witness

The ICF:

Chaos - The solution to any Problem
Chaos - Easy, Effective & Escapist
Chaos - No Assembly Required
Chaos - Just add Entropy
Chaos - Not a small Greek Island
Chaos - The Past and the Future
Chaos - Nature’s Way
Chaos - You know it makes sense

THE ICF:

Entropy Triumphant, Entropy Victorious
Entropy Unstoppable


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