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 The Other Side Issue 255

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Phlegm

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Number of posts : 751
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: The Other Side Issue 255   Mon 7 Mar - 13:40:37

In EXTREMIS
Fanzine of Extreme Prejudice Published by The Other Side Publications Issue 255

Deadlock After Fiercely Contested Meeting With Old Friends

Extreme Prejudice 1
Friends of Khorne 1


It was a still weakened Extreme that met the Friends of Khorne, killers of Jags Toxic when last they met and defeated us. Hastican’s team, recently ravaged by the Niggling Nagarothians played journeyman Orblio in the number one shirt and had only three warriors and three pestigora remaining. Extra training, babes and an Igor made up for at least some of the gulf in class.

Chaos Cheat Fan Factor
The home crowd at Slaughter End for once outnumbered the enemy though this only emerged after the match after a miscount by unwisely employed goblin stewards. The Friends elected to receive and our line set up looking unusually puny in the shadow of the huge Minotaur leading the enemy line.

Ominous Start
The kick off was poor and a quick snap saw our warrior line easily put down along with the luckless journeyman. Maximillus blitzed down a beastman on the left but could not get through to the one carrying the ball. MVP Warrior Shascue was stunned by the Minotaur and four others fell before a failed block against Orblio turned it over.

Chink Forced In Defence
Qualacob on the left now fell opening up our screen to allow the ball carrier through into our backfield. He was brought down by Maximillus blitzing but we could not recover the ball. Jet Haberthwaite trying to dodge away from the Minotaur on the right now failed a dodge turning it over for us.

Extreme Knock Outs
Pestigor Malekor having been left on the sideline was now KO by the crowd and Evil Blata was KO by the Minotaur on the right wing, but on what was quite an unsuccessful afternoon for it, it also failed the block for a turnover. This opened the way with some judicious blocking support for Maximillus to collect the ball and break away on the left.

Coach Cock Up
We were unable to drop any of the threatening warriors in the centre and the original beastman formation on our left was also menacing our attack but after an illegal procedure call the enemy blitz failed and although marked the pestigor was able to fell his opponent and break away to score.

Friends Fail To Reunite
Blata remained KO but our pestigor returned. The Friends KO beast failed to recover and mystifyingly they failed to deploy their reserve beastman which we sportingly did not point out. Time was relatively short but the Friends attacked in strength on our left again against a deep defence but failed to get the ball up there to score.

Inducements Not Ideal
Warrior Cranial McCavity was KO by the Minotaur during the exchange of blocks. Orblio failed with a foul on what would be a bad game for us in terms of the dark arts. We would have been better served with some funds for referee bribes rather than an Igor, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Casualty at Last
Perhaps another Babe too as McCavity failed to return from the KO dugout whilst the Friends were back to full strength. Our reception though and as the ball fell short on our left warrior Cheg equalised the odds briefly with a casualty on a warrior that the Friends were forced to apothecary.

And More!
Pestigor Gatchamee collected the ball but now we lost Shascue as a casualty. Fortunately his serious injury regenerated but he was missing for the rest of this drive. Malekor now scored a kill, rotter Fayley Bayley would join our squad as a result. Despite this success we were pretty decimated by the next wave of blocks and the ball was knocked loose. Two of our players were stunned.

Desperate Move Thwarted
Gatchamee then brilliantly recovered the ball after dodging away from his marker and passed with the hope that even if it went wide the ball would end up loose midfield perhaps near target Malekor rather than in scoring range. Intercepted by the extra arms of a nearby beastman! Damn!

Cannot Get To Ball
Good work despite few players still standing at least got us in touching distance of the ball carrier, but he broke away and scored despite our efforts. The final drive and the ball ended up in our end zone, our KO warrior failed to deploy and we stupidly failed to deploy Fayley.

Negative Friends
The Friends sat back much of the drive concerned only to hold on for the draw and our efforts to inflict damage and handle the ball all failed. Indeed, rotters Qualacob and Imrin Vhan were both sent off failing fouls, generally on the Minotaur, miserably. With more KO, we ended the game with only five players on the pitch.

Relieved Coach
Hastican seemed quite happy with the result having not had any players killed for once, a casualty win and actually gained a rotter. Useful advances for a couple of warriors rumoured though winnings were poor. Orblio was signed up after the match, both sides suffered fan factor decreases.

Final Word
In a brief statement Hastican said: ‘Best tearing and miniscule limpets of sealing wax. Impertinent startling and mystique than entertains and tables with marvellous statistics. Stable intervention in talking probability, what are doing highly and why with vast heavings?’ Why indeed?

TOSS Awards Committee Close to Date Announcement

The Other Side Seasonal Awards Committee has confirmed that a date will be announced soon for the eleventh presentation of these prestigious awards.

Commenting on reports that concerns have been raised in some quarters about a lack of diversity in the award nominations, the committee expounded at length on the subject, however none of said comments can be repeated in a family publication.

They did go on to confirm at least 37 categories are up for nominations covering four main areas, but even these are a closely guarded secret. They didn’t explain how the awards are possible so early in the season.

Only two categories are up for public vote this year and these are expected to be announced with just about a week to go to the ceremony to maximise the number of nominations and votes.

Around the League

• Nigglers draw 1-1 with Friends of Khorne

• Should have been a chaos win

• Last throw of the dice for the Friends a failed GFI to score

• 4-1 Casualty result to Chaos.

• Rumours of a human team drawing with new Wood Elf outfit, Green Daze

• Team name said to be descriptive of the coach

• Definite reports have reached IS that Green Daze were defeated by the Friends of Khorne prior to our match.

• Said to be a 2-1 victory for chaos with the elves also failing a last gasp GRI to equalise

• Seems that the Friends have been leading a charmed life

• Casualty score reported as 5-0.

• Who to? Who do you think?

The ICF:

• Amaze your friends

• Horrify your neighbours

• Terrify your probation Officer

• Surprise the wife

• Break that mirror:

• Foul Appearance Kits now available

• Take on the look of your favourite players – Just 5 crowns

• Or for the deluxe treatment

• Permanent surgery at the knock down price of just 20 crowns

• A free bonus disfigurement for first 20 purchasers with this ad

• So whether you are at the match at Slaughter End

• Engaged in a casual slime boarding session with friends

• Or just engaged in spreading the word of Chaos

• You can look as disgusting as your favourite stars

• Nurglings now in store: just 1 crown each, 5 for three crowns

• The pet for all occasions- Low maintenance, faithful and provide endless slime supply

• Need those extra limbs/ appendages / heads?

• Need that special extra something to break the ice at parties?

• The Mutation of your choice can now be yours

• Just apply via the club and the enhancement of your choice could be yours

• If not totally satisfied, we guarantee immediate removal of the modification in question

• All procedure totally painless, or your liver back

THE ICF:
Chaos: On Demand
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