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 The Other SIde Issue 251

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Phlegm

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Number of posts : 747
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: The Other SIde Issue 251   Tue 12 Jan - 11:51:22

IN EXTREMIS
Fanzine of Extreme Prejudice
Produced by The Other Side Publications Issue 251


Dark Time For The Dark Elves
Niggling Nagarothians 0
Extreme Prejudice 1


Friday night away with the Dark Elves, not everyone’s idea of a good time but it was to be a good night for our favourite Chaos horde. Losing the toss, we kicked off, both sides lacking experience and strength in depth, just eleven a squad. Under strength after two deaths in their first two games, Extreme had a team value below a million and fielded a Babe from our favourite beer company to aid resuscitation efforts in the KO dugout.

Armour Predominant
A cowardly runner caught the short kick on the right and fell back at once fearing our blitz. The games blocking started as it would continue throughout, a lot of players down but very little in the way of stuns or injury. Foul appearance protected our warriors several times during the game, the dark elves showing uncharacteristic prudishness and little relish for a fight.

First Elf Off
Then our first real success, a KO for warrior and MVP Cheg on the right. The runner then seemed to have broken through our left but fell going for it in another cowardly attempt to put distance between himself and the defence’s horns and claws.

Foundations Laid for Victory
Warrior Cranial McCavity, hero of our first game this season now knocked out another lineman and a pestigor put an elf blitzer into the crowd. Rotter Ibicore meanwhile collected the ball deep in our own half and looked to the distant end zone. With three elves stunned too the elves were reeling.

Extreme Rampant
An immediate turnover disaster then compounded the Nigglers’ problems and Ibicore began a laborious progress upfield on the right. Two more knock outs for us meant that the elves were now seven against eleven and our superior numbers were well placed to screen Ibicore.

One Nil
Despite this the dextrous elves were still able to wriggle clear of tackle zones and nearly ended our attack, a last gasp go for it failure ending the final attempt to reach the plucky rotter who crossed the line in this, his debut appearance.

Our Drive
Second half and sadly this brought back three missing players leaving our full squad deployed against ten dark elves who kicked off deep on our right in unexpectedly brilliant sunshine as the chaos gods sent some sort of reverse eclipse.

Positive Start
Again Ibicore recovered the ball, again blocking was successful but did little harm, the second half was starting much the same as the first, possibly scripted by J J Abrahams as some wag in the crowd remarked. Then another early KO for us, rotter Qualacob seeing off one of the right hand linemen squirming on the turf with an unpunished foul.

Lightning Fast Elves
The Dark Elves had greased themselves up liberally at half time and were able to break through and blitz down our ball carrier this time and the ball was passed away downfield before you could say Niggling Nagarothians.*

*Ok that’s possibly not that fast but you get the drift.

Extreme on Back Foot
Our desperate defenders struggled to get back but somehow did manage to fell the blitzer with a long range blitz by Qualacob. The elves recovered the ball again though only to fail a dodge scuppering their chances of an immediate equaliser.

Under Pressure
Jet Haberthwaite was the next rotter to cause the elves trouble and they failed another dodge as they continued to try and break away from the growing number of our defenders that were continuing to get back from the midfield melee.

Bad Call
Qualacob collected the ball and unwisely attempted to foul a potentially threatening lineman, stunning him, but this time the clearly biased ref sent him off leaving the ball loose again.

Breakaway Attempt
With the Dark Elves still outnumbered and scattered, Pestigor Maximillus was able to break towards the half way line but the ragged line of teammates protecting him was too thinly spread to prevent him being blitzed down. The elves got the ball again and went for the long pass across field.

Dark Elf Disaster
Fumble! The loose ball sucked in more players from both sides and with Vigrid deep in the enemy half making it to the end zone we had a late scoring option, but Gotchamee could not even gather up the ball, game over.

Inexperienced Display
A lot of never say die defence on display and a lot of poor dodging and going for it by both sides, notably the elves. Both sides demonstrated an impressive lack of skills and finesse and the lack of injuries was remarkable given the highly successful armour penetration by the away team.

New Old Face
Good winnings but no sign of immediate investment to restore a full pestigor squad, Hastican perhaps saving up for a warrior. In a surprise move Hastican’s assistant coach has been revealed as Vagilex, oncw head coach of the Entropic Marauders, former residents of the Putri Dome across town.

Coach Verdict
Hastican was in ebullient mood at the post match press conference and even spared the life of a Spike Magazine journalist caught trying to make notes. ‘Straddled Bordello and cotton wool infestations with a quagmire of grilled walnuts. It’s a medley of comforting southern equations addled with metaphorical adjudications. Sweet prince good morning enough and who is any thought.’

Final Thoughts
The Elves were unavailable for comment but it’s thought that their team will be reinforcing with a witch elf after what let’s be honest, was an appalling display. So for us a win, draw and loss, we’ll have to await the real season start to evaluate the true mettle of this team.

The Other Side

We’d like to thank the reader whose letter flooded in to us asking for a few clarifications about our magazine: We can confirm that Other Side Publications will be producing ‘In Extremis’ and ‘The Other Side’ again as long as Extreme Prejudice and the Eternal Champions are playing.

There are currently no plans to re-publish our sister magazines ‘In Cold Blood,’ ‘The Gathering Storm,’ ‘The Unturned Page,’ Reapers Review,’ Corrupting Times’ or ‘Grave Concerns’ unless their team should reappear in the league, which seems unlikely at this stage.

You can write to us as usual c/o Death Row or Slaughter End and we will almost certainly never publish or reply to what you send in case you expect payment.

For those who have asked if regular columnists like Grizzler Greybeard will be returning we have no definitive news. This is because following a tragic deathroller accident it’s possible that his views may have been subtly altered by this life changing incident.

He is currently said to be in negotiation to join the Eternals as a lineman which could also radically affect his availability to write for us.

Around The Leagues

• After the surprise news that Vagilex is back as assistant coach for Extreme, the Eternals have confirmed that Terminor, former coach of the Dead Ringers is Creoch’s Offensive co-ordinator at Death Row.

• TOS wonders if this explains the Eternals’ uncharacteristic winning start this season

• Still no word on exactly how the league will operate. Best result of up to three games against each opponent is one possibility

• No word either on an end date to unfriendlies

• Or a start date for any cup competitions.

• Decisions said to hinge on arrival of new blood although not entirely clear what form this is to take.

• It is hoped that at least eight teams will be involved but only those six that have already played are confirmed

The Incorporated Chaos Force: Sponsors of Extreme Prejudice And Chaos Everywhere

Chaos Incarnate
Organised Chaos is no pipe dream – The ICF specialises in total disorder, total chaos and total satisfaction for our customers.

Our Guarantee
If you’re not completely disorganised after a one to one session with one of our dedicated teams of specialists, your money back in full.*

*Is a worthy objective for you to dream about

Our Promise
You won’t know where you are, what you should be doing, what has happened or why. You will have achieved the Nirvana of nothing mattering any more.*

*True teen spirit in fact

Our Pledge
Is what we will use to polish for free the dining room table of the first fifty respondents to this advertisement

THE ICF:
Bringing Chaos: To Order

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