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 Rice Raid

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Phlegm

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Number of posts : 751
Registration date : 2007-04-26

PostSubject: Rice Raid   Tue 21 Apr - 17:07:18

Rice Raid



So Eddie took the news about his van quite well, suffering only moderate trauma. He put it in for repair with a couple of new hot shot guys who Harvey had dredged up from somewhere. They took the van into one of the outbuildings with mutterings about Lord Junior or some such - just what we need, some sort of religious fanatics suffering a mumbo jumbo overload.

I hired that nice guy Flask who shows some promise in the meths department, had to box his ears though when he tried to palm a little on the side, but hey, free enterprise, in moderation not a problem, still I decided to keep an extra close eye on him next time he did a bit of cookery.

Harvey meanwhile was obsessed by the idea that there would be piles of weapons and grenade launchers lying around the site of our last battle. Personally I thought he was being wildly optimistic in this assumption, and I declined his offer to return to the site on the grounds that I really didn’t want that to be the site of our last battle - If you see what I mean.

Everyone except Flask seemed keen to return with him however so they blundered off to seek weapons and near death experiences. I was certain they would encounter one of these, but not necessarily the one our Brit desired. The ominous rumble of gunfire from the town only reinforced this impression.

Kettle went with the scavenger squad, armed with a machete that would give Paul Hogan a total inferiority complex. To be fair, we were also running short of food and this was added to the list of objectives for the mission. I was filled in later on the events of that day…

They parked up in an area away from the fighting; this meant the immediate abandonment of the weapons hunt as the area of our fighting was now strongly held by communist forces. The zombies seemed less abundant than previously, it was the living that were doing the killing that day.

Petrova sensibly remained to guard the vehicle whilst the others searched the lower four floors of nearby flats. Rather cleverly Petrova held on to the drone camera as a means of communicating with the scavenger team, she’s not just a pretty face.

A few zombies lurking were despatched easily, notably by the whirling vortex of bladed death that we had previously known as the mild mannered Kettle. We then heard voices above and scattered as a couple of communists descended the stairs. One held an AK47 and the other a shotgun, but they seemed confident that they were in a secure area, right up to the moment that Harvey shot them.

Harvey avoided a burst from the assault rifle and emptied his Glock’s whole clip on full auto into its wielder. Holly arrived in time to blow a neat hole in the floor with her shotgun as she failed miserably to bring shotgun cartridge into contact with enemy brain matter. Harvey however reloaded and now on single shot, killed the second commie with an elegance that contrasted sharply to Holly’s near footectomy.*

*The removal of one’s foot with an inadequately aimed shotgun blast, or if it isn’t, it should be.

More fighting upstairs and the team rushed to investigate, only to find the action all over, Kettle surrounded by three bodies with a fourth, still undamaged body pinned to the wall by a selection of Sheffield’s finest steel. Eddie and Harvey interrogated the hapless survivor, clearly a worthless conscript whilst Holly cut the badges from the uniforms of the corpses, badges worth a modest bounty if we ever got it to the Nazis.

Harvey decided that the prisoner was no good to anyone and released him, suggesting that he might speak to Pavlova on his way out; however, he didn’t get the chance as Holly decided that his throat would look better with more ventilation and accordingly she ripped it out as he tried to flee. This unexpected display of violent cold bloodedness met with general astonishment, followed by admiration, followed by respect.

The spell was broken by Eddie drawing the team’s attention to the drone feed where Pavlova was gesticulating frantically and panning to an approaching vehicle. A half dozen occupants emerged, one a chained hulk with land mines strapped to him and a hammer and sickle emblazoned steel plate hanging around his neck. The leader of the group unceremoniously stuck a needle into the human bomb, who promptly charged into the building.

Harvey covered the stairwell with his appropriated AK 47 and was ready to unleash hell. Unfortunately a grenade flung up the stairs before he could fire detonated, knocking out the whole team with the exception of Holly. Harvey recovered to fling a Molotov cocktail down the stairs just as the human bomb arrived on their landing.

In the resultant explosion, Eddie and Harvey fell through the collapsing floor, finding themselves amongst a crowd of commie conscripts, several of them wounded, some with lost limbs. Harvey opened fire with his new weapon but sprayed the ceiling uselessly, bad boys style and it was Holly firing from above who killed the enemy leader. The others, largely unarmed now fled; those that were actually unarmed lay bleeding out.

The fleeing communists emerged onto the street hoping to regain their truck, some wielding hammers they had found from somewhere. Petrova, having completed a search of the truck was now seated in the cab, and she cheerily crushed them to death ramming them against the building wall. Nice.*

*Seems we were all in brutal mood today

Back inside, Kettle helped the battered crew back up and they piled out, forgetting the second batch of food but remembering the spare shotgun that I had particularly asked Harvey to be on the lookout for. The gang returned to the farm, Eddie nursing a fractured wrist and Holly and Petrova both hurt too. I healed the trio, nearly fumbling it with my Petrova,* doing best with the Amazonian Holly.

*Not to be confused with my new shotgun Petrova

We resumed the routine of resting and healing, Davi also now improving, meanwhile Flask and I got back to the important business of Meths production, but again the little scamp tried to palm his own cut. I resolved to give him a proper beating this time but he dodged and his palm struck my forehead, suddenly he became my worst nightmare: a giant pink rabbit. The fur…the paws…the buck teeth… the ears…the fluffiness… the smell of carrot juice… I did what any sane person would do, I fled that ghastly horror.

Meanwhile the worshippers of Lord Junior continued their repair work on the van. They now kept a fire burning, black smoke indicating the work’s continuance and presumably honouring their machine deity in some fashion. I meanwhile spent a great deal of time fondling and oiling Petrova.

After a few days our biker scouts reported a major communist offensive against Pallet which had denuded the communist base at Podrino of most of its garrison. We plotted an attack: We were running desperately short of food again and our major concern was to secure supplies. My major concern was the possibility of a giant rabbit infestation, and I fired Flask from my employ at this time. Flask meanwhile was spending time communing with Kettle in sinister fashion.*

*Violence against trees was also involved

We decided on a night attack, options discussed included a distraction involving snipers and or explosives whilst we attacked one of the three entrances to the camp that was bounded by walls of wrecked cars. A bluff our way in using disguise and the captured commie vehicle with distractions using bikers was our eventual choice.

Eddie would drive the captured truck with the slicer dicer machine that was Kettle, who would wear the hammer and sickle plate taken from the suicide bomber. Petrova, Holly plus a couple of biker ‘prisoners’ would also be on board. More bikers would set fires on the blind side of the compound as a diversion, the rest of us would follow in the artic with Flask and I on guns.

Covering with Tinkerbell I watched from a distance as the truck drew up. The guard had a conversation with Eddie, who was so nervous that he decided to kill the guard with his machete, the guard turned away just as Eddie lunged at him unsuccessfully, by a miracle the guard sensed nothing, however he fetched an NKVD officer from the checkpoint who strode round to the rear of the vehicle demanding an explanation for the prisoners.

I shot him from about 800 metres, the silenced bullet severing his spine cleanly and Holly pulled him up onto the back of the vehicle. Kettle meanwhile had slipped out and dealt with other guards in bloody fashion. We drove up and passed through the outer checkpoint together whilst Petrova donned the NKVD uniform. We reached an inner checkpoint and the feared NKVD uniform and Petrova’s steady nerve passed us through.

Inside the centre of the complex two railway carriages mounted on caterpillar tracks, one mounting a huge cannon were being worked on, the dim arc lights augmented by the sputtering of welding of armour plating. From a large ex UN warehouse pallets of rice were being loaded by fork lift onto the second carriage.

Our vehicles pulled up and the bikers dismounted, drawing the unwelcome attention of the base commander, another NKVD commissar. Petrova, having come across plausibly at the base entrance struggled under the more uncompromising interrogation of the NKVD and decided to act decisively.

She drew her machete and killed the startled officer. Oh no, wait, that’s what the plan was, what actually happened was she neglected to unclip the strap on her sheath so failed completely to draw the weapon. Oops. Fortunately Flask had been moving to assist and now jumped on the commander, but failed to neutralise him, merely wrestling him to the ground. Oops.

Unfortunately my mind had been a little unsettled recently and what I saw after some moments of tension as the NKVD officers’ argument escalated was a giant pink rabbit and an NKVD officer writhing on the ground together. I had been debating whether to open fire on a number of targets, but here was a decisive choice: I pulled the triggers on the fifty calibres and turned my targets to bloody pulp.* Oops.

*Blew his ears clean off. Elmer Fudd would have been proud

Firing broke out all over the compound as the gloves came off: Eddie dragged the badly wounded Flask into his truck as Harvey borrowed Tinkerbell and began firing. Davi and I were on the cupola guns firing as our vehicles roared around the compound.

Holly and Petrova headed for the rice pallets, I mowed down a parade ground of conscripts and their sergeant then a soldier fired an RPG at Eddie’s truck, flipping it over leaving Flask trapped under it and Eddie crawling free. Harvey fired and wounded the operator but he passed it to a comrade. I now ran out of ammo had to switch to Tinkerbell.

Half a dozen suicide bombers now appeared and began to chase down our vehicle and Eddie as Harvey floored it. I blew up one of the land mine swaddled pursuers and wounded the soldier now holding the RPG launcher who missed with another shot. Flask killed another with his mysterious mental powers and Petrova and Holly working to together took the train in the centre.

We prioritised the suicide bombers and killed and or blew up the rest, I took over Davi’s machine guns and added my fire to that which Petrova and Holly were pouring into the warehouse where they had driven the survivors, but even as the last commie fell we were sure that a message for reinforcements had already been sent.

We started loading rice pallets onto the artic and Eddie checked over the controls of the huge tracked train. I stabilised Flask who had morphed out of giant rabbit form temporarily, succeeding in ricerrecting* him. The bikers screened us on the lookout for enemy forces and sure enough reported vehicles approaching from the direction of the town after a quarter of an hour.

*Pun of the year, go Sam!

Eddie set the controls of the monster train aiming it towards the river and sent it crashing through the compound walls towards what we hoped would be a watery grave. We drove off in the darkened artic, the vehicle groaning under the weight of 25 tonnes of rice and disappeared into the night. We made it back to the farm and were pleasantly surprised to see white smoke rising from the vehicle workshop where the followers of Lord Junior had successfully renovated Eddie’s van.

So we have bloodied the noses of the communists and have all the rice we can eat, not that I actually like rice very much.* Eddie has taken over the leadership of the two super mechanics and Davi, Eddie and Flask remain under my medical care though Davi is virtually recovered now. It may be time to move on though as the commie forces in the area are likely to take unkindly to our attack, even if they were able to rescue their super weapon before it reached the river. Kettle’s fate remains unknown.

*Which no one appeared to care about despite me continually bringing it up.


18.4.15
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